Matheran in the Monsoons

Here’s a thirteen step process to having a super awesome one-day trip to Matheran in the rains.

zero. Check what the MET department guys forecast the night before your trip. If they expect it to be bright and sunny, go ahead with your plan.

1. Sleep late the previous night. Sleeping early is quite irrelevant as your adrenaline rush will carry you through the entire day anyway. Let your last prayer before you sleep/nap be that it rain moderately the next day.

2. Rise early, really early (like 4 am). This is important, because you’ll end up spending around an hour trying to wake up other people and getting hold of stuff like umbrellas (redundant), jackets (pointless) and plastic bags (somewhat helpful).

3. Catch an early train to Neral, get down there. Don’t get too excited by the view from the train, you’ll end up wasting valuable battery life. Take a pee break at Neral station, it might very well be the only one you get for the next three/four hours.

4. Ensure that you aren’t too attached to your camera (emotionally, that is – straps are recommended). There’s a good chance it’ll get screwed. Same goes for mobile phones and watches. Take a camera along anyway.

5. Walk the walk, talk the talk, feast on the fabulous scenery.

6. Follow the road, get off the road, follow the toy-train tracks, climb a few rocks, roll off the grass, get onto the road. Repeat. You’ll have around 10 km to perfect this loop.

7. Stop at every broken pipe, every waterfall and every curve overlooking a gorge. The waterfalls get better the higher you go, so you can rest assured that the level of awesomeness will keep going up.

8. Carry plenty of miscellaneous stuff to eat/drink. If you order beverages at roadside stalls, ask them to tone down the sweetness a bit, else you’ll end up drinking sugar syrup with a hint of tea.

9. You’ll get tired, wet, slightly bored and fairly demotivated as you climb the steep slopes. Don’t give up – these are signs that the end (of the climb) is near. If all fails, play random games. Those help, sometimes.

10. There’s a 3 km walk from the main entrance of Matheran to the ‘untouched’ civilization which resides inside Matheran. Walk it once – the horse poo and red dirt which cling to your shoes will be sufficient encouragement to take a horse ride when you decide to return.

11. Do not see any of the Wilson/Monkey/Pinky/Ponky/Sunset/Sunrise Points; refuel, ‘refresh’, buy chikkis and catch the first equine taxi out of the place (ridiculous-looking hats are optional). A trip to Matheran is a bit like the pursuit of happiness, as some wise fellow has put quite eloquently – the fun is in the journey, not in the destination.

12. Catch a Maruti Van taxi down the slope – it’s always better if the brakes work or the ride can be a bit bumpy (albeit quite fast).

13. Go home and take a hot shower. Go to bed – you’ll need it, especially if you followed step #1.

Disclaimer: This has not been tested on babies or animals or their babies. Results may vary from the pictures shown. Side effects include nausea, vertigo, leg-strains and urges to blog about such experiences.