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Posts Tagged ‘sunidhi

Rap it Up, Sheila

with 4 comments

The past few years have seen a deluge of faux desi people with punny names like ‘Hard Kaur’ and ‘Rishi Rich’ infiltrating the Hindi (Bollywood) music scene ‘like this, and that, and this, and that’. Their presence makes it merely a matter of time when we will have our own rappers with names inspired by sweets/candies, ’cause that has been the domain of politicians (Rabri, Imarti) for too long. If M&M’s can inspire ‘Eminem’, why can’t someone call himself/herself ‘Gems’? People could decide to go a level deeper (Ooo DiCaprio, you would like that wouldn’t you?) and call themselves Rock-n-Rola-cola or Mary Poppins.

It is a universally acknowledged fact that the English grammar & punctuation skills of Indians are far better than anyone in the world, Brits and Americans included. A testament to this is the virtual monopoly Indian kids have on the spelling bee championships, going where no child their age has gone i.e. words longer than 7 alphabets. The rap fad might end up affecting the literary value of our songs, though, and consequently that of our culture, our heritage and everything else that is s nice. Long-gone seem the days when Javed Akhtar & Gulzar would come up with unfathomable (but apparently quite awesome) lyrics like ‘geela … geela paani’ (wet … wet water) or ‘itni shiddat se I did something’ (I don’t know what this means but I think I did something nice). Today, a trend’s developing, where all songs have a few lines in English spoken really fast and aggressively, usually to indicate high levels of libido and/or rage. The rhymes, unfortunately, leave a lot to be desired. When the less famous Patel sibling (Ameesaa ben) pouts ‘Mausam bada hai Awesome’, I can’t help but cringe. When aliterations are reduced to stuff like ‘Lazy Lamhe’, I am but a touch saddened. When Himesh advises ‘Full-too attitude, de de tu zara’, I let it pass only because he’s in a league of his own. When I hear Sunidhi croon –

Silly silly silly sillee boys …. mujhe follow follow karte hain ….
Jab unke taraf dekhoon …. baatein hollow hollow karte hain

I’ll admit it, she probably has a point there – guys do have a tendency to follow women around and talk hollow stuff because they’re so bowled over by the immense awesomeness of the women being followed. This does not, however, justify coming up with such random lyrics, even if there’s Katrina Kaif wearing treacherous clothing just itching to malfunction as she does pelvic thrusts which would corrupt even the lai llama – the wisest and most chaste (chastest?) llama ever. Here’s the video I refer to, presented solely for academic interest.

Continuing on the same topic (the lyrics of the song), she goes on to say –

dil karta hai haule haule-se main khud ko gale laga loon
kisi aur ki mujhko zaroorat kya main to khud se pyaar jataaoon

This, however, is where I draw the line. What she’s essentially saying is that she’s so hot that she’s like totally in love with herself, like that narcissistic greek guy from the fables (his name eludes my memory, unfortunately). Anyone else will be such a disappointment for her that she’s going to ‘jataao pyaar’ on her own – i.e. please herself. I have to say that this is something which is simply not acceptable. Skewed sex-ratios are a real problem, people. Some magazine estimates that soon, there will be nearly 20 mn Chinese dudes, all spoilt rotten by their folks because they had no siblings while growing up, suddenly realizing that they have no girls to follow-follow or talk hollow-hollow. It’s alright if they turn to each other for solace and comfort – will be the best population control measure I suppose. It could get catastrophic though if China was to export it’s way out of this surplus as well! We Indians have just hit the peak of our demographic dividend curve, so we’ll get where the Chinese are, just a few decades later (as always). Given such a bleak outlook, is it really a good idea for girls – especially the hot ones – to indulge in or inspire others with such notions of self-fulfillment? Unless Katrina et al can assure us that it’s ‘just a phase’ and that ‘it too shall pass’, I strongly urge the social/moral police to stage an intervention here in the strictest possible manner. I’m pretty sure our culture is getting corrupted here somehow, and that should be good enough.

Although it might seem so, this post was not an excuse to have the video on my blog. Also, this rant does not wish to trivialize a matter as serious as this. It is high time we do something about it lest our children pay for our mistakes, even if it is the only known way in which parents can get back at their children.We need to do something, else it might get quite painful. We need to ‘chase ourselves‘, if I was to quote some borrowed wisdom.

We should probably look at the gender ratio issue too, ’cause I would be deeply saddened if my son (if/when I have one) was to end up living like an engineering college student without even stepping into an engineering college. Scary thought!

(Hopefully I’ll update this post with more examples of literary-mudder)

Ed: Just watched Tees Maar Khan, and all I have to say to the director Farah Khan is that Tees Maar isn’t sufficient punishment for the agony I had to endure. Tees hazaar maar will be enough though.

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Written by sujaybedekar

December 22, 2010 at 7:23 am

Pick up the phone, you crazy hip-hopper

with 3 comments

What would you expect from a gathering of around a dozen of the ‘brightest minds‘ of the country (Note: quote-unquote AND italics) when they gather in a dorm room of one of the best Indian MBA institutes? (Note: No quote-unquote-italics)? Do they think/ speculate/ ponder? Do they solve national, if not global problems? Do they contemplate the fate of Indian politics, or better still – contemplate the fate of Indian cricket?

Well, think again.

Your surprise is understandable if you see the aforementioned group (+ moa) sitting in Room 231 (i think) in Dorm 21 (i think) in IIM-Ahmedabad and watching with full concentration and in an infinite loop one of the most absurd songs to have ever surfaced in the Indian pop music industry in the past decade. Each one of these guys has a different facial expression – if one guy is grinning sheepishly (omg! i can’t believe i actually kinda like this), another one is gaping in amazement (this is so ridiculous, it is frikkin’ awesome), while another fella is just plain aghast, as he nostalgically thinks back to the time when people danced around in white shoes and tight pants around columns made of fancy pottery.

The song starts off with a petite dehati-types (villagerish) servant girl dressend in a french-maid outfit calling out to her master –

Naashta taiyyaar hai sir‘ (Breakfast is ready, sire. Come hither).

After that, the breakfast is entirely forgotten, and all the song focuses on is the ‘come hither’ part.

Watch and learn –

Don’t read further unless you’ve watched the song, else most of the hindi references might seem vaguer than they actually are.

It came as a real shock – kind of like the shock I got when I learnt that electrons don’t actually revolve around the nucleus in cute little ring-a-ring-o’-roses- when I came to know that this song was sung by one of India’s premier female playback singers Sunidhi Chauhan. I had to go through the five stages of dealing with grief (i know – i too thought there were just four stages, apparently there are five!). And then I had to go through a sixth stage of lingering astonishment (I think I’m still in it).

What could have possibly possessed Sunidhi to agree to being a part of this song at all?
> I like to believe that I know Sunidhi personally (hence the first-name usage) because she went to the same tenth standard tutions as a friend of mine; although it is true  that we never really met and also that she kind of left the tution classes within a couple of months of joining to go and sing. I unintentionally let it be known here that she hasn’t cleared Xth grade.

Anyhoo, because I know Sunidhi so personally, I simply cannot fathom what hold the the ‘Ishq Bector’ fellow had over her to force her into doing this.

Maybe she wanted to do something dumber than her elopement and subsequent ditching of her marriage (I told you, i know her very well :P).

Maybe she lost a bet, and the choice was either to do this or to ‘maanj bartan-shartan poochha- vochha in Mr. Bector’s house roz-barabaar‘ (clean utensils-shutensils and floor-vloor daily).

Maybe she had a crush on the Bector guy *shudder*, which made her hope that he would give a ‘zor ka dhakka’ to her ‘dil ki rickshaw‘, rather to her ‘louwe ki rickshaw‘ even if he asked her to ‘foot-foot-foot-foot‘ as he had given her her due bonus.
Maybe she had a bout of what is one of the most popular used defences in all american legal dramas – temporary insanity.

Or – and this is the possiblity where she redeems herself in my eyes, making me want to be associated with her and be famous again by induction – maybe it was all about the money. And the chance to sing ‘Issshhhhh … lo naaaa ……… phoooooone!’

Written by sujaybedekar

March 8, 2008 at 5:05 am

Posted in Entertainment, Music

Tagged with , , , , ,