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Those darned kids – or maybe not

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Overheard recently at a retirement home  –

Lady1 : (in a loud, booming voice) I tell you, kids these days say the darnest things ever!

Lady2: (getting nostalgic) Sigh. I love my grandkids and miss them sorely *mope* *sulk* *nostalgia* *repeat*

Lady3: (sensing something juicy) – @L1: Why do you say so?

Lady1: (enjoying the spotlight)  You know I went to London last month. (Pauses for effect). My son stays in ___, remember I told you about that?

Lady3: (impatiently, tersely) Yes. I don’t think you can let me forget that.

Lady1: So I go to my son’s house, and his 5-year old takes my hand (touches hand subconsciously) and starts showing me around the house. “This is my room, aaji (grandma). This is where I play with my toys <blah> <blah>.”

Lady3: How cute!

Lady2: (miffed because she’s being ignored) I. miss. my. grandkids. ahem.

Lady1: (now on a roll) Then she takes me to the a big bedroom and says, “This is daddy’s room. And this one (pointing to the one beside it) is mummy’s room. They have had their fill of each other by now plus we now have a big house, so they don’t need to sleep next to each other any longer.” Oh my god, I tell you, my son seriously had nothing to say! His face … (cracking up …)

Lady3: (mission accomplished) Lol! Seriously?! Enh… hee hee hee hee hee heenh (in a laughter which sounds eerily like Aishwarya Rai screechy giggle)

Lady2: Ass. You just told us that your son and his wife have marital issues. Are you sure that the KID is the dumbest person in your family?

Lady1: …

Me: WTF am I eavesdropping on old-lady gossip?

Speaking of retirement homes/ old-age centres – all those cliches we see and read everywhere are actually spot on. There are people with that glazed look in their eyes, as if their mind and their body manage to co-exist while living in different decades. There is a slowness to everything which can be quite infuriating if it wasn’t so sad. A retirement home is not necessarily a house for rejects, but it is the place where people go because they have become, in some way or the other, a burden to their loved ones. There are your usual loners, who hasten their departures by wallowing in the past, and then there are those boisterous ones who’ve most probably led quite nice lives and must often wonder how they landed up here in the first place.

It makes me resolve – I’d rather die young than live to an age of obscurity and dependence. And this a resolution for keeps, for sure.


Written by sujaybedekar

January 21, 2009 at 1:19 am

Posted in arbit, babies, india

Tagged with , , ,

Confessions – 3

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Actually an assortment of confessions – tikli-tikli ones, if you may.

1. I’ve never quite understood the movie ‘No Country for Old Men.’

Not that I tried really hard, truth be told. It is a bit tough to be that interested in the fate of random people who keep staring at you emotionlessly for 2-3 hours and then just die. ncfomI did love the part where the guy in black kills people using a pressurized fire-extinguisher-cylinder thingy by blowing holes in people’s heads. Repeatedly. Sigh, to think that all that killing happens because he is pissed at his hair dresser (possible spoiler alert).

The movie ends with a long monologue which I did not understand even more because a) it was long and endless. It was like that John Galt radio speech from Atlas Shrugged which makes you want to reach out and strangle him or at least flip ahead through FORTY TWO pages. Also; b) i had lost hope by then anyway. It was no country for men of all ages, clearly.

I just realized that I made another mini-confession above – I have not read the John Galt speech from Atlas Shrugged. In all fairness, I cannot claim to have read Ayn Rand well enough to find her boring. Thankfully, fairness and thorough knowledge are not pre-requisites for finding someone boring.


Getting back to the movie – I seriously think that the Oscar folks thought the same way as I did about NCfOM –

Judge1: “Dude, I did not understand that shizzle.”

Judge2: “Dude, I didn’t either. Got balls to admit that?’

Judge1: <Looks down, then up with the same fear in his eyes as the second guy in the movie to be murdered> “Duuuuude!”

J2: “Thought so. Me neither.”

J1: “Let’s give them the Oscar. Then we’ll see who the joke is on, eh?”

J2: “Dude. Srsly. LOL. k.” **

This admission qualifies as a confession btw because previously, in response to ‘Did you like the movie?’, I used to nod sagaciously and murmur with an all-knowing look,”It is a different movie, I know. Not every one likes it.”  That pissed most people off and I most people I met ended up finding the movie quite interesting and thought-provoking. I couldn’t pull off my usual enigmatic stunt however when a colleague said with disarming honesty,” I did NOT like it. I did NOT understand it. It was too boring and I am not dense. What about you?” Different’ just doesn’t work then.

2. I have always sucked at Pac-Man. Glad to have that out of my system. This is a game I’ve played for ages without progressing beyond a few levels (three, to be precise). And this is not something I exaggerate (as I often do) to make it sound funny. There’s something about the ‘waka waka waka’ noise/sound whichpm draws me with its awesomeness like flames drawn to moths or vice-versa. But whenever I see Blinky, Pinky, Inky, and Clyde approaching (yes – those are the names of the coloured ghosts who keep chasing you. Yes – I have Pac-Man trivia although I suck at it) – whenever I see them in my vicinity, my hand-eye coordination just goes bonkers. Maybe I take the game too personally- I don’t quite know what my problem is. Most of the times I lose lives because I sadistically try to eat those buggers when they’re blue and slow and mesmerized by something I ate seconds before, but I always touch them when the spell has just vanished (people who’ve played will sympathize. Empathy is more welcome). This happens all the time – it’s like I’m jinxed or doomed to fail.

In my defense, my entire comp-gaming skill set is limited to Solitaire, Freecell, Snake, Minesweeper (at which i can say with complete immodesty that I totally ROCK!), Need For Speed (in which I got busted by cops while driving an Aston Martin DB myself an improportionately large number of times) and FIFA 07 (which I haven’t played in over 18 months 😦 ). The total amount of LAN gaming I’ve done – those multiplayer games like Halo and UT and WoW which are somewhat scary – is not more than 2 hours in all. But still – having Pac-man as my Waterloo kills me bit by bit, everyday. 😦

**The recent movie called Burn After Reading by the directors of NCfOM  is again quite different, actually. I liked it a little bit.

Written by sujaybedekar

November 17, 2008 at 1:16 am