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Intentionally Incomplete

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I worked for a long time at an office complex in Mumbai which was quite swanky tip-top techy shiny. It was the worst possible location to set up shop  – it was next to one of the busiest junctions in Mumbai – it often took half an hour for a car to come from one side of the road to the other. It was ‘equally close’ to both railway lines, which meant that it was inconvenient to reach either.

The office was in this huge building complex which had a ‘nice’ canteen; fancy waterfalls and stone arrangements which had some aesthetic value (I assume); eternally suspicious watchmen who were either too fat to chase after anyone or too thin to hit anyone; and a ‘smoking room’ so that people could smoke in both voices (active and passive).

Given the state-of-the-art facilities, it was always a mystery to see in the office complex this swimming pool with refreshingly blue  tiles which was empty. I remember going to the office as part of an orientation when still a grad in early 2007. We were told that that pool was going to be completed ‘any day now’. The possibility of seeing colleagues go for a swim in full view of the entire office was intriguing, to say the least. Just another reason for all of us to be super psyched about starting our jobs.

I joined full-time in July 2007, and the pool was still empty. As the days went by, I  could never see any visible effort to help the pool fulfill its destiny. I’d seen these things happen in the past – something was constructed with the assumption that you’ll get clearance to build it but the permission was delayed / revoked, so the construction had  to be halted. The pool was often used to host small events with red plastic Neelkamal chairs and a podium with a mic which screeched at regular intervals. I heard rumours that someone threw a bucket of water into the pool (on a dare) but the water didn’t drain out, it stayed there until it evaporated but not before fostering a thriving ecosystem of its own – maybe that was the problem, they messed up the plumbing and were too bored to fix it. Whatever it was, it was a symbol of hope. Of possibility. Of red tape bureaucracy stifling people’s dreams. But mainly, it was a symbol of empty swimming pools.

I left the place in 2010, and the pool was still the way it was the first time I saw it. You could always depend on the pool to stay unchanged. Just the way it was, eternally un(ful)filled.

You can imagine my crushing disappointment, or at least as sense of anti-climax, when I recently found out that the pool had been left incomplete intentionally – one small tile had not been laid or one pipe had not been fitted, due to which the pool (and as a consequence, the whole complex) continued to be ‘under construction’. That apparently helped the owners save tons of tax.

There’s a lesson to be learnt here somewhere – The impact that one pipe/tile can have (Ek machchar …). OR, How an unfinished object can inspire in the unlikeliest way. OR, how ridiculous the whole thing now seems.

I feel cheated, but in a nice way.

Written by sujaybedekar

September 26, 2012 at 12:52 am

Matheran in the Monsoons

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Here’s a thirteen step process to having a super awesome one-day trip to Matheran in the rains.

zero. Check what the MET department guys forecast the night before your trip. If they expect it to be bright and sunny, go ahead with your plan.

1. Sleep late the previous night. Sleeping early is quite irrelevant as your adrenaline rush will carry you through the entire day anyway. Let your last prayer before you sleep/nap be that it rain moderately the next day.

2. Rise early, really early (like 4 am). This is important, because you’ll end up spending around an hour trying to wake up other people and getting hold of stuff like umbrellas (redundant), jackets (pointless) and plastic bags (somewhat helpful).

3. Catch an early train to Neral, get down there. Don’t get too excited by the view from the train, you’ll end up wasting valuable battery life. Take a pee break at Neral station, it might very well be the only one you get for the next three/four hours.

@Neral station

4. Ensure that you aren’t too attached to your camera (emotionally, that is – straps are recommended). There’s a good chance it’ll get screwed. Same goes for mobile phones and watches. Take a camera along anyway.

en route to matheran

5. Walk the walk, talk the talk, feast on the fabulous scenery.

walk the lineroad

6. Follow the road, get off the road, follow the toy-train tracks, climb a few rocks, roll off the grass, get onto the road. Repeat. You’ll have around 10 km to perfect this loop.

green top - bouncy pitch

on track

7. Stop at every broken pipe, every waterfall and every curve overlooking a gorge. The waterfalls get better the higher you go, so you can rest assured that the level of awesomeness will keep going up.



water curtainwaterfall

8. Carry plenty of miscellaneous stuff to eat/drink. If you order beverages at roadside stalls, ask them to tone down the sweetness a bit, else you’ll end up drinking sugar syrup with a hint of tea.

break time

9. You’ll get tired, wet, slightly bored and fairly demotivated as you climb the steep slopes. Don’t give up – these are signs that the end (of the climb) is near. If all fails, play random games. Those help, sometimes.

games people play

10. There’s a 3 km walk from the main entrance of Matheran to the ‘untouched’ civilization which resides inside Matheran. Walk it once – the horse poo and red dirt which cling to your shoes will be sufficient encouragement to take a horse ride when you decide to return.

inside matheran

11. Do not see any of the Wilson/Monkey/Pinky/Ponky/Sunset/Sunrise Points; refuel, ‘refresh’, buy chikkis and catch the first equine taxi out of the place (ridiculous-looking hats are optional). A trip to Matheran is a bit like the pursuit of happiness, as some wise fellow has put quite eloquently – the fun is in the journey, not in the destination.

horsing around

12. Catch a Maruti Van taxi down the slope – it’s always better if the brakes work or the ride can be a bit bumpy (albeit quite fast).

13. Go home and take a hot shower. Go to bed – you’ll need it, especially if you followed step #1.

Disclaimer: This has not been tested on babies or animals or their babies. Results may vary from the pictures shown. Side effects include nausea, vertigo, leg-strains and urges to blog about such experiences.

Written by sujaybedekar

July 14, 2009 at 11:53 pm

I might just not vote this year

with 3 comments

Before people go all JaagoRe on my a**, please let me explain –

I’ve always believed that when when you vote, you should do so because you are FOR a particular candidate/party/idealogy and not because you’re AGAINST someone. This whole ‘lesser of two evils’ school of thought is a fairly crappy way of casting your vote. With the elections almost upon us, the basic questions you address when you decide whom to vote are – Who? Why? What? How?


1. The Congress has never been my favourite party, mainly because of the shameful sycophancy and elitist approach shown by its members ever since I can remember. The UPA government – and right now, I’m not quite sure who make up the UPA because the constituents can change from the time I post this to the time someone reads this – has done a fairly terrible task on 2 fronts I consider fairly important:

– Security (It is not a good thing to accept terror attacks as an integral part of life in India. It is pathetic to have shitty responses to terrorist attacks and even worse to crow about ‘diplomatic triumphs’ like getting someone to accept blindingly obvious facts. And it is shameful, no matter what anyone may say, to have to shift a cricket tournament out of the country because we cannot provide security for it.)

– Education (The reservation saga which happened 3 years ago and affected most of us quite profoundly is not that easy to forget)

The lack of any positives which the UPA can be credited with inspite of a having ruled in a booming economic and foreign relation environment is by itself a major disappointment. It is a sad reflection on the last five years that the most interesting thing of the UPA rule was the no-confidence motion from last year. By interesting I mean more in an OMGWTF way than OhCool one. The party manifesto(doc) is quite surprising – some find it to be a joke – and the claim made in it over and over again about having delivered on promises made in 2004 in a very substantial measure indicates a fairly delusional group of politicians. Plus, it is not easy to forgive someone who screws up Jai Ho or who has a video where a suspicious looking character flashes scary grins at the camera and goes on and on about his hand while a group of street kids dance in coordinated freestyle. (I am unable to to locate the video on the internet which is quite surprising. I hope to rectify this soon).

2. The BJP and its allies took the word ‘opposition’ quite seriously and did just that quite consistently for the entire period of the last term. The amount of time and money wasted in walk-outs and adjourned sessions cannot be justified nor recovered. The party is yet to recover from the loss of a charismatic leader like AB Vajpayee and has hunted for one for too long without bothering to strengthen its base. A moderate L K Advani or a hawkish Modi are, on the face of it, quite scary propositions for quite a few people, and the BJP has done nothing to assuage these fears. Which is a real pity. What Varun Gandhi has said is shocking, and already people are drawing parallels between him and those leaders who claim to protect the minorities. If this ends up being the reason why the BJP wins (and that is a big IF), it’ll be a fairly diluted victory for sure. Besides, the BJP is yet to come out with its manifesto- at least I haven’t seen or heard about it till now. So if I vote for them, I’ll be voting for what they promised or promoted 5 years ago, which is ridiculous.

3. The Third Front would make a really good Opposition because (a) they don’t have any clear agenda of their own, (b) They have regional interests to protect, and (c) they have a lot of practice at opposing things left-right-centre. The Communist folks were at it even when they were supposed to be providing outside support to the current government. A good thumb rule which has emerged these days is to do/support everything that they consider evil or bad. It is impossible that the Third Front will form a government because they are just too fragmented with too many people who are not particularly known for consistency and stability. The communists continue to live in a world of their own – their Big Daddy Jyoti Basu believes that they committed a big blunder by not being part of the government (he then detaches his ventilator to show he is serious before suggesting that he still remains the best possible for PM). The BSP and their Big Sista’ realize that the ‘uplifting of the backward classes’ will require (sooner or later) educating the backward classes (i.e. giving them Primary Education and not reservations in Higher  Education). But this will go against  their whole policy of exploiting the ignorance of their vote bank, thereby limiting the impact they’ll have on National Politics. I count the Samajwadi Party, Lalu Yadav and RV Paswan in the Third Front too (although right now, I think they are partners of Congress), because they are what are called ‘journeymen’ in football – people who cannot stick with one club for too long. People with itchy feet and scratchy butts.


There is an absolute lack of transparency in the system. The media is more obsessed with monitoring infighting within parties, pre-poll alliances and switching of allegiances than raising relevant issues. People change parties, ideologies and stands with an alarming frequency. Parties who are allies today become sworn enemies tomorrow, thereby making it impossible to choose any candidate/party. If there was to be a ‘least bad’ coalition, it would be between the Congress and the BJP, which is quite sad by itself. Or is it … ?


I am registered as a candidate in the region which elected Govinda to power the last time. My MP right now is Priya Dutt. I have no sense of belonging to any of the constituencies, no idea of how an MP can make any difference to my life. I mean, other than contributing to the horrible numbers-game will be inevitably ensue after the elections, how is an MP even relevant? – I still have no clue.

If I want to vote, I’ll have to produce a plethora of documents (on a weekday in a very short time window and very soon) to vote from where I stay right now, or create what is probably a fairly archaic proof of registration – a Ration Card. In response to my query as to how do so many immigrants vote so easily, the election officer says that that is because the first thing they do on getting to Mumbai is to get registered here while continuing to be registered voters in their original regions. Clearly, it is not a one vote per person system as touted. So my vote is not even that important, in that case.

When I was young and restless (which was like 3 years ago), I remember having a long discussion with some snobbish, wannabe-rich people in my old locality who didn’t vote because they thought it was beneath them. I remember telling them that if they didn’t vote, they didn’t have the right to comment about the state of the country. I remember quoting some Chinese philosopher that if the good people don’t worry about politics, then they have to accept being ruled by bad people. (The actual quote is better worded and has much more of an impact, trust me). I now see that things have come to a full circle, where I have new excuses for not doing the same things I once deemed inexcusable. Which is a real pity, no?

Written by sujaybedekar

March 26, 2009 at 4:23 pm

Posted in arbit, india, Mumbai, politics

Atonement-Slumdog mish-mash

with 2 comments

NB: This post contains spoilers for the book Atonement and for the recent ‘Indian’ movie Slumdog Millionaire. Also, it will most probably not make sense if you haven’t read the former (which I strongly recommend) and seen the latter (which is not a bad choice either).

Atonement‘ by Ian Mckewan has got to be one of the best books I’ve read. It has a wonderful, languid style of describing thoughts and landscapes, and yet manages to keep the story fairly tight. The book is essentially told through the eyes of a twelve-year old girl called Briony, and it describes the epic tale of her sister and her friend/ lover/ neighbour who get caught in a cruel chain of events with the Second World War as an imposing backdrop.

Slumdog Millionaire‘ by Danny Boyle is a decent movie which narrates a tale of love and destiny with the great slums of Mumbai as the primary backdrop. Watching the movie, I got the feeling that it was nothing spectacular, and could had in fact been much better.  and

I can see why the movie has been widely appreciated by a non-Indian audience. It has a lot of astonishing/ striking things which might not seem that odd to someone who has stayed in India all his/ her life but would certainly pique the interest of someone foreign. It’s more or less the same reason why I liked the movie ‘Cidade de Deus’ (City of God) so much. Slumdog, however, is NOT that awesome a movie. It is most certainly NOT the 34-th best movie of all times (at the time of writing) as indicated by the IMDb rankings. Rehman’s music in the movie, while pretty decent without a doubt, is NOT his best by any stretch – (Roja, Bombay, Dil Se, Swades and Taal come to my mind immediately). The acting is ok, but definitely NOT Best-Actor material: the lead actor perpetually oscillates between shock and anguish.

My favourite part in Atonement (and I don’t know whether it’s there in the movie since I haven’t watched it yet) is right at the end, when a now-senile Briony hints (Again: Spoiler Alert!) at the possibility that perhaps, all that she has described in the preceding chapters might not really be accurate – maybe what she has narrated with great conviction might not have happened at all. But she sincerely believes it to be so true and inevitable that she convinces herself that it is, in fact, the truth. And you don’t really care that you’ve just been cheated out of a standard conclusion to a book with all the makings of a classic.

Now imagine if the creators of Slumdog had incorporated this into the ending – Jamal keeps on telling how he was destined to know the answers (which is a roundabout way of saying he was quite lucky), but just before the movie ends – he reveals that maybe the crap which he dishes out to the police officer as explanation might not really be true.

That would had been an awesome movie – maybe not a feel-good awesome one, but a whoa!-awesome one for sure.

Written by sujaybedekar

January 20, 2009 at 5:54 pm

Why this whole thing is just so wrong

with one comment

These terrorists put in so much of effort, time and money into planning something so elaborate – all so that they could go and kill people. Not people of a particular group or ideology or country, but just so that they could go and kill people. It was like they weren’t satisfied with your typical FPS games and needed something more exciting to calm their whacked-out systems.

They killed innocent people. With glee. At CST, they killed a female who was shreiking as she ran towards the door. Then they killed a small child which was presumably disturbing them with its crying. They shot at people who were running because they were running, and then at people who weren’t running because they weren’t. They killed 57 people in this manner.

They then got into cars and went on a killing spree, specifically targeting policemen. They said (those who got captured later, that is) that they were ‘trying to avoid’ people who seemed Muslim. Clearly, they succeeded spectacularly at the former, and failed miserably at the latter.

There was one T actually hiding with a group of hostages until they were calm, and then opened fire and killed them all. And felt pretty proud doing this, I’m sure.

There were these 2 people who were holed up in the storage section of the Taj, and one of them was unfortunate enough to have his phone ring just as he was peeking out to check whether it was ok to run. He never answered that call as  a bullet shattered his skull. His friend stayed hidden with his corpse for hours after that.

I had to subject myself to torture of the highest degree thanks to the craziness going in South Mumbai and the constant stream of ridiculousness and absurdity being beamed into my living room by the ‘exclusive’ reports. The only sane channel was DD News, and that was only because all they were doing was counting off the number of countries who had sent in their condolences. I’ve had a long standing disrespect for the media, especially the Indian guys, and this catastrophe has strengthened my disdain for them.

I was moved when Mr. R. R. Patil, the Dy. CM of Maharashtra, showed emotion and a genuine resolve while talking to reporters. This was of course on a lesser watched Marathi channel because he was not a savvy or sweet-talking ass like most of the people who were hogging MY TIME on the top news channels. On being asked about the nationalities of the terrorists, he just couldn’t continue with the facade of diplomacy and political correctness, and yelled out – “They were Pakistanis. This is a conspiracy of the worst kind, and I will personally do something about this. I promise. They will pay.” This was followed by a vehement “Mera Bharat Mahan” addressed to a particularly loud section of the crowd there. It was at that moment I realized how much we underestimate the power of politics- no matter how horrible these folks might be, they have the responsibility (and quite often the ability) to rally a huge mass of people …

… and then came on our Home Minister Shivraj Patil followed by our Prime Minister Dr. Singh, who assured us that they were very ‘distressed’ and ‘appalled’. They conveyed defeat, confusion and helplessness so effectively, that in one stroke they managed to crush all my hope and optimism. I was led me back to the well-trodden path of cynicism and disgust. Gah.

– I was astonished to find people complaining about the long time it was taking for the rescue operations to complete. As if they couldn’t had been greater asses, these people then went on to crib about how they still couldn’t see security elsewhere in Mumbai. OMFG. I would had lost it then and there itself, but my sis told me about the story of some hostages who were rescued by an NSG soldier. His assurance made me forget the braying going on on TV – “Don’t panic. Don’t fear. I’m here to protect you. The first bullet will have to pass through me before you are harmed. I WILL get you out.” And it was all ok.

– I have always had a fondness for those trivial, insignificant things which make everyday an interesting day worth living and which distract you at least for some time from the humungous problems currently besieging us. These attacks made me guilty about being interested in trivial things. It made me feel immensely dissatisfied with all that I have done so far, am doing currently and I will be doing in the short-term future. I felt like the the stray dog below (from the Big Picture, #28), who suddenly realizes that he’s in unfamiliar territory – it looks and smells like the same place he’s frequented all his life, but something has changed irrevocably. And that pisses him off as well.

Because nobody except us has the right to change anything in our country. Nobody.

Written by sujaybedekar

November 29, 2008 at 4:35 pm

Posted in india, Mumbai, news, politics

Tagged with , , , , ,


with 2 comments

1. This post was supposed to have been published when the BEST buses (the local bus transport system of Mumbai) radicalized its fare structure, but I ended up procrastinating.

2. Then, this post was supposed to have been published on the day of the ‘3-day’ autorickshaw strike in Mumbai (which unfairly got over in 1/8th time), but by the time I got around to posting this post, the strike was long over and forgotten.

3. All characters mentioned in this post are fictional unless they’re obviously non-fictional. The opposite is true for all facts – true unless obviously untrue.

Called BEST because it was Bombay’s Electric Supply and Travel Undertaking, the f//www.flickr.com/photos/15654600@N06/2307011558ull form has been juggled around quite liberally to persist with the acronym – Bombay thus became Brihanmumbai (Greater Bombay). The Electric Supply part is still maintained (for nostalgia I guess) although Reliance Energy now has the responsibility of keeping Mumbai from darkness. Travel, though, is still spot on.

It is generally observed that there are two categories of people in Mumbai –

1. People who hate the buses and who find them painful, time-consuming, extremely frustrating and sweat inducing beasts whose sole aim in life is to prey on unsuspecting pedestrians or smaller vehicles (especially autorickshaws).

2. People who don’t hate the buses although they find them painful, time-consuming, extremely frustrating … etc. 

Most people in Category 1 are ‘outsiders’- rather, most ‘outsiders’ end up in Category 1. Note that I do not say this in a derogatory/ accusatory/ inflammatory/ Raj-Thacky manner – it is understandably hard for people to suddenly reconcile with the ‘horrors’ of bus travel. I, though, belong to the second category of people, I’m an Insider, a man on the inside, the son of the soil, boy of Konkan, a true native and all that which fills me with a lot of irrational pride – I still sometimes suggest bus travel as an alternate mode for getting from point A to point B and raise quite a few eyebrows in the process.

Given my obvious affinity for this oh-so-obvious sign of non-affluence (“Colon ‘O’! You rode in *gasp* a bus to office! *roll eyes* how cheap are you?”), it is quite natural that I should personally know a few bus conductors/ drivers. Unnaturally enough, I personally know only one bus driver. This fellow used to work in my dad’s office more than a decade ago, and I happened to chat up with him some time back.

Excerpts from a conversation with this fellow, hereby referred to as Fellow –

Me: Why this general derision for buses?

Fellow: Bilaadi snooty Mumbai people

(F is prone to using a lot of foul words which have been changed on request. Must say that his style of uttering vernacular word-barbs is quite spectacular. Some of his words can be found here, although I urge you to not spew these at random people on the street, especially those wearing orange bandanas and chanting “Marathi manoos jaaga ho” i.e. awaken, O Native of Maharashtra!)

M: Why the general disdain for all people outside the bus- people on the road, in the car, on pavements, everywhere?

F: Bilaadi snobs these Mumbai people. Not having any chendu to stand their ground and face only.

M: Huh?

F: (With a glazed look in his eyes) Yeah.

M: Glad we got that out of the way. Now, how about telling me how great BEST actually is?

F: Not yet. First, I should mention how thankless our job is. Everyone gives us infinite traas! People – for running them over; Passengers – for not waiting for them to get on/get down, or when we pain them into giving us exact change. This is a bit unfair, given that our motto always has been ‘Krupya Soote Paise dyaa’ (Please to be giving exact change). This and ‘Thou shalt aspire to drive a Ferrari’ being the two founding ideas on which our Bus-chalak Mazdoor Union was built. On top of this, our Bosses –  paining us into completing a requisite quota of passengers serviced …

M: … (interrupting) Oh ok, so that’s why you’re all grumpy and yet willing to wait for people running behind buses with arms flailing like wild chicken?

F: (With a stare that can preempt the imminent Polar Cap meltdown) … Please, do not interrupt my mousum (flow). The last time someone interrupted my mousum, I almost ran him over.

M: Thousand apologies. Please continue.

F: I am not one to crib though. All I will say is we have enough trouble. More than enough, actually. But still, I do not envy my conductor one bit. Just imagine – he has to dispense the correct fare for all possible stop combinations, ask people to give him ‘chhutta paisa‘ (correct change), yell at people to move forward – “Aage badho, idhar khadha mat raho” … Move your sorry a$$es ya’all – and at the same time not forgetting to ring the bell at every bus stop.

M: (Seizing the moment) And how ironic that when he is polite and good, he is susceptible to getting electrocuted! Ha! (Seeing the blank stare, proceeds somewhat disappointed) …  Surely getting to ring the bell so often must make it worth the trouble endured? It sure made my day quite a few times!

F: . . . *fingers drumming*

M: Anyhoo … I’ve heard that the bus routes are routinely updated?

F: Yes actually. That is something that makes me hold my head high with ‘fakr’ – we have an elaborate tracking system developed by some fairly bright people constantly monitor earnings for routes, conduct surveys and chart new routes. All this is done with the most basic of technology. Don’t be surprised if you see abacuses lying all over the planning department. Ha ha ha. (Pauses to wipe eyes)You must have noticed several routes which seem pointless in terms of traffic, or some which go through areas of apparent wilderness, eh?

M: Actually, now that you mention this …

F: Well, these routes are often expected to be future earners. Sometimes they end up being like a self-fulfilling prophecy: Projected increase in people density -> New routes -> Better connectivity -> Increase in viability of place -> Increase in density -> Voila!

M: That sounds too good to be true.

F: Well most of the times it is too good to be true. But even if it works sometimes, it’s worth the effort 🙂

M: And what about the fares?

F: Well, 15p of every fare goes to the PM’s Education Fund, which is a lot. Fares are monitored such that they are as fair as possible. Ha ha ha. (Pauses again to wipe eyes). You know, however gas guzzling the buses might seem to be (they don’t go more than 4 kmpl), it still translates into a lot of savings if you factor in the number of commuters.

M: Yo! Stop press! Important question I almost forgot! Why are you guys phasing out the double decker buses! Think of the exclusivity factor – no city in the world other than London has these monsters still running on her roads! (Nostalgically) Riding in the front seat of the upper deck, imagining that you were driving the bus all by yourself, watching tiny rickshaws getting swallowed by your bulk … sigh, those were the days. Plus, having the wind peel your face off when you vainly tried to keep your eyes open was probably the best Titanicesque moment one could had ever had! And here you are, depriving future generations of the chance to dangerously peep out of the front windows as they hope to wave to the driver downstairs? Shame on you.

F: Dude, the economics and logistics just don’t work out. A double decker bus is just not viable. Plus it is physically very unstable. And it’s too much of red in my opinion.

M: (Shocked at the jargon F just uttered, but recovering with amazing finesse) Hmm … I noticed that we now we have the daily pass/ monthly pass thingy, right?

F: Yeah. It is quite surprising that it took us so long to implement this. We now have incentives for daily users, frequent travelers, tourists and senior citizens. I am sure that the number of passengers will increase drastically now. Think about it – in just 25 bucks, you can now travel all over Mumbai as many times as you want. And soon we’ll have an integrated pass-system for Buses AND trains. Plus you have the Reliance Metros coming up. I just hope that people respond positively and use public transport more than they do.

M: Amen to that. And I sincerely hope your kind drives with less vengeance.

F: Well … (hitherto unknown red lights suddenly light up eerily in the background) … that is something we can only wait and watch! Mwwuuhhuhhaahaahhaah

M: Goodbye, and have a nice day. And don’t forget the disclaimer mentioned at the outset.

Written by sujaybedekar

April 28, 2008 at 8:26 pm

Posted in Mumbai

Tagged with ,