A moo point, basically …

There’s this thing people keep talking about called momentum. School kids are quick to define it as “m x v bar” and get done with it. Sports commentators, however, go on and on about how important a factor it is, apart from luck, form and ability (in that order). And after watching yesterday’s IPL T20 Mumbai Indians v/s Chennai Super Kings match, I think I can safely say -

The performance by Mumbai was almost faultless. It was, to quote Ravi Shastri (and I apologize rightaway and in advance too) a good toss to win. As expected, Mumbai decided to field first. Shaun Pollock gave a masterclass (4-1-9-1) in how to bowl in the right areas with the pitch having something in it for those willing to bend their backs. He showed why bowlers like him and McGrath are like wine – they age with time and only get better as the years go by’. He also debunked the theory that people should retire once they are past their prime, because clearly, form is temporary, class is permanent. The ’special one’ from Delhi – Ashish Nehra – was not too bad either. The Dhawal Kulkarni kid bowled well too, except for the last over where the occasion got to him and he showed that he needed some more experience. But in hindsight, it was a good thing that Chennai got to 150.

What followed next was pure magic. Entertainment of the highest order. I remember reading somewhere about Sanath Jayasuriya’s admiration for Sachin Tendulkar, and he mentioned after the match how reassuring it was to have someone like Sachin at the other end. The sixes he hit (eleven in all) so easily with those treetrunk-like arms went longer than just into the crowd – they justified why Mukesbhai was willing to rely so much on his ability that he shelled out $900,000 for him. They also validated why he was considered to be the best opening batsmen in the subcontinent (and possibly the world) for a very long time.

At the risk of sounding cheesy and so very Tendlya-obsessed, I must say that it was Sachin who made all the difference. There was a certain confidence in the team, the way they stuck to the plan, how they fielded well and batted brilliantly. This could not have come from anywhere else but their el Kapitan. His mere presence was like a tonic for all the Men in Blue.

I hark back to the 1998 series in Sharjah v/s Australia when Sachin played what was probably his best ODI innings ever. I remember Tony Greig going bonkers in the commentator’s box and gushing over and over – “Oh what a player. What a fantastic player.” It’s more that ten years (!) since that happened, but the admiration for Sachin has not dimmed one bit. ‘Soorya’ is 38 right now, and it seems like he could easily play for a decade more. Maybe Sachin’s (he’s only 34 ) resolve to play in the next World Cup (in 2011 IN INDIA!) is not as unrealistic as some people are so eager to say. Here’s hoping that he plays on and on, and that the Indians keep on winning!

Random thoughts mostly disconnected regarding the ongoing IPL Twenty20 tournament:

The T.V. series ‘Heroes’ got it spot on when it urged people to Save the cheerleader. I say to Mallya – go one step forward and bring back the cheerleaders to Mumbai. Just can’t seem to get enough

SRK had said that if the Bongla Knight Riders screwed up, all he’ll need to do is dance in a few more marriages. Well …. mwuhhuhhaahaaaah *evil laughter*

Mumbai need to realise that Nehra has bowled his best, and should be dropped before he gets back to sucking and bowling low full tosses. They also need to realise that one cannot spread the cheer by having boys-who-look-girly gyrating to arbit songs.

(Ed: Nehra’s Man of the Match performance vs Jaipur notwithstanding, I still think he has been a bad buy)

Rajasthan is owned by the son of Rupert Murdoch, apparently. Smart people, these Murdochs.

(Ed: Jaipooriyans no match for Mumbaikars though!)

Chennai has all the batsmen money could buy, leaving no money to buy bowlers.

Delhi are nothing without Virender She-wag, Gambeer and Daa-won. McGrath is still a cut above everyone else.

The Deccan Chargers are like the Indian cricket team of 2001-02. Lots of stars, pathetic team overall. Rohit Sharma is truly magnificient – the best thing to come out of this whole IPL megashow. I still can’t comprehend why Mumbai didn’t pick him. Laxman’s renouncement of icon status proved to be Deccan’s stumbling block – you can’t but reward such a ‘noble’ gesture. But what this effectively means is that Laxman is a permanent fixture. And why they insist(ed) on picking Venugopal Rao is totally unfathomable.

Mohali KXP need to shield their players from Preity Zinta lest she satisfy her urge to bearhug everyone like one would coddle with a puppy. And Sreesanth needs to go and find his balls before bowling any – seriously? crying? And that too on Zinta’s arms?! And what’s this I hear about the junior players being shifted from a 5-star hotel to a local place to accomodate Preity’s friends? :O. Their cheerleaders are nice, though.

Almost forgot the Bengalurus (cricketers, that is)- probably because they are quite forgettable. The fact that Wasim Jaffer is one of their leading run scorers should be sufficient indication towards the misplaced ideas of Rahul Dravid. The story goes, that Mallya was congratulated by family and (girl)friends on assembling an awesome team, and was reminded that Twenty20 means that the entire team gets to play 20 overs, not 20 overs-per-player. On telling this to Dravid, Da’ Wall replied – “Anyone who can master test cricket can play in any format of the game. Twenty20 is all Moh-maaya. Pass the rasam.” Must mention that Katrina looks very pretty in Bangalore Red – it’s only the prospect of her coming on screen that makes me hope that Dravid slogs one over extra cover.

And lastly the most prominent aspect of the IPL coverage – the commentary! You aren’t allowed to say sixes – you have to say DLF Maximum Sixes, even if the ball barely clears the boundary. Every six is a contender for some DLF Super sixes contest which nobody really bothers to explain. When Sehwag hits a six, the commentator (Robin Jackman I think) goes – ” That’s the hundreth six of the … no wait … the sixth hundred of the … <blank>”.

The baap of all commentary gaffes / gems (depending on your PoV) has to be the wacky Paki Rameez Raja who can’t stop fantasizing about how bandied Mohd Asif is as part of his injury recovery. That is of course before he starts admiring Dwayne Bravo’s Complete Package. He doesn’t shy away from making up words when he says ‘XYZ is unorthodoxily built’. He greets Shoaib Malik’s boundary with this absolute gem – “He’s slapped one thorugh the offside… (pause) …of late I shouldn’t be saying that, slap has become controversial. He’s hit it hard through the offside.”

Arun Lal cannot make up his mind about which cliche to use, and ends up uttering the most arbit word combinations ever – “The Royal Challengers are doddering along like a dodo”.

Ravi Shastri elaborates on the enigma called Afridi who has been a teenager almost all his life until now, when suddenly the scorer says he’s 28! – “He made [the fastest ODI] 100 when he was 16 and then was in his teens for quite a while “

And (I shit you not) Ranjit Fernando puts the icing on the foot-in-mouth cake when he says – “The Chennai bench looks very relaxed … blah blah blah …. they haven’t been pregnant for some time”.

Well, some one better do something to rectify that. After all, as the spot boy- turned leg spinner- turned commentator L. Sivaramakrishnan says – “it is a hard man’s game – that is why it’s a profession.”

I’m loving it