A moo point, basically …

Imagine a strong behemoth of a ship like the Titanic

Imagine it sailing in somewhat choppy waters which are very risky but which overall helps the ship people make a lot of extra money.

Now imagine NOT being too surprised when the ship crashes into a big frikkin’ iceberg and people start blaming each other for not expecting this. The people responsible for charting the courses either have already gotten off the ship or are long gone.

And lastly, imagine the ship being fettered with a lot of gaping holes (because the iceberg keeps on coming back at the ship, and it also hollers out to other icebergs to join in in the fun), and the people onshore on board being entrusted with silver teaspoons to ‘Help keep things afloat’. Folks who work hard and show excellent potential and ability are given ladles instead of spoons and are rewarded by a lot of fully-paid Titanic cruise passes.

Now replace the word ‘Titanic’ with the name of any big financial firm and ‘the iceberg’ with the current Credit Crisis …. the bilaadi metaphor still makes sense.

A week before I came to London, the shit hit the ceiling fan (or whatever the analogy is – although I never quite understood the practical manifestation of this) in the financial world. Ever since, the ceiling has gotten discouloured but the hitting hasn’t stopped. My entire time here (in London) has been spent as a not-too-passive bystander in this mess, marveling at the deep pits all bankers have dug themselves into and amazed at how the rest of the world (wrongly) believes itself to be insulated from the trials and tribulations of these mega-rich snobbish bankmen and their sob-stories.

But what pisses me off the most is this – before coming here, I had decided to try this prank in the London tube (underground train system):

I set my phone to ring while I’m underground (and where there is obviously no coverage). I look pleasantly surprised but still cool, pick it up and go -

“Dude, ’sup?” <people around me are amazed at this sberration and start wondering what network or phone I have. Some take out their phones to check, but it’s all in vain. Some chicks are busy chewing gum looking quite hot and blank and very snooty. They are unaffected by the proceedings because of their slow response time>

“WTF! The FTSE is DOWN!! BY HOW MUCH! O.M.G.!! Sell dude, selllll!!! Man am I glad that I could take your call here! Yeah I am in the tube!” <By this time, curiosity turns to concern- some people start shaking their phones violently, Some move it around like trying to detect a fart in the air with a radar. Some try holding it as far away from their body as is physically possible, hoping the mobile is unimpeded from getting the stray waves filtering down here. >

“Ok Cool. Glad I dodged that one.” *click*. Then I grin sheepishly and say “Did you hear that?” …

… But now I can’t do all this because -

1. The damn FTSE is falling everyday anyway, so there’s no novelty left

2. I could try and reverse the prank by being astonished that the market went UP suddenly, but that is no fun – it’ll just give people false hope, which is like the last thing they need right now.

Damn. Double damn.